filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
