Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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