Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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