I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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