I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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