and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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