I wish I could teleport
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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