I'd wear matching sweaters with you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
