she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
