Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
