I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
