If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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