what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
