Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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