his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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