I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
