I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
