I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
