Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
