yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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