Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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