dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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