You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
True strength comes from lack of pants
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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