We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!