But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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