tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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