Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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