What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
