No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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