I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
