what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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