Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
