Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you never un-have a 4some
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
