Don't you send me to vm
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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