You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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