I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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