She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
