I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
