no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's just like the Real World with babies
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
