what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
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DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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