Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
