no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
areolas are like halos for boobs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
