Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
dude. I can hear the air.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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