question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
