Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
