I'm really into asian looking animals
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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