I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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