these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
