So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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