Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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