Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
