is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
