So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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