And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
