And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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