It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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