I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
