I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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