She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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