I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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