Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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