Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
