Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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