absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
