Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize