I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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