People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
