It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
