He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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